Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Ripped from the headlines
Just a sample of the intelligent ideas making news this week:

Good news--President Bush has allocated 2.2+ billion dollars to fighting bird flu. Most scientists agree that Americans have 0 chance of getting this disease. Importantly, only about 120 people TOTAL have been afflicted. Now, I'm not good at math but it seems like a SLIM, SLIM risk. The problem rests in poultry farms and cleanliness and we have already banned poultry from those areas of the world. I think the President should be putting the money toward something useful. Hey Mr. President, over 35 million people live below the poverty line. Maybe throw them a fricking bone...they can't even get the chicken pox vaccine. And before you say anything, I know the Democrats have been asking for some bird flu response as well. Shame on them--we're smarter than that.

The prisoners at Guantánamo Bay have started a new diet fad. Rumsfield tells the world that "There are a number of people who go on a diet where they don't eat for a period and then go off of it at some point. And then they rotate and other people do that." I'm not sure...but could that be a HUNGER STRIKE? Maybe because they are being tortured and held indefinitly? I can only hope I am as good of an employee as Rumsfield is some day. Awesome.

In this month's Vanity Fair, Woody Allen describes his marriage to Soon-Yi Previn as "paternal in nature." Maybe it's because he used to be her father figure. I'm not exactly sure...

Alito, the new Supreme Court nominee, thinks that women should get their husband's approval before they obtain an abortion but he rolled back PA's law banning machine guns in homes. I guess if the husband refuses to sign the consent form, his wife can just pull out the machine gun. He doesn't trust a woman with her body but he does trust her with a machine gun.


Post a Comment

<< Home