Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Political Lurve
Soooo I hate Valentine's Day. Hate isn't accurate. I don't care enough about it to hate it. But I (at the very least) think it is a pathetic excuse for a holiday and an even more pathetic sign of romance or love. However, I do love love. Yep. Love it. Want to help people find it. (Because I don't want people to find it on MySpace, remember?!) So HAPPY [fake] LOVE DAY, internets... may you find some [real] LOVE....


*clears throat*


I announce ActForLove.org: the largest site for Democratic singles. ActForLove.org was founded by progressive activists, for progressive activists. ActForLove.org is the place to meet liberals, Democrats, activists -- folks who actually care about the world. Find a date, find a friend, or find a partner for activism.


Awesome.


Now...before my feminist peeps get all crazy on me...I'm not asserting that people NEED to find someone...just that maybe they want to. And if they do, they may want someone who approaches the world in a similar way as they do.


I used to think that political persuasion didn't matter when looking for a partner. "Different opinions are good...It only matters that they're smart...and able to engage in intelligent discussions....and watch obnoxious amounts of C-SPAN and Sunday morning talk shows," I thought. Well...I thought lies. LIES. It does matter. They need to be intelligent, engaging, addicted to Sunday television shows AND agree with me. At least agree at a fundamental level.


At a basic level, political people shouldn't be with non-political people. It doesn't make any sense. If politics is important to you, why wouldn't you want your partner to share it with you? Why wouldn't you want to inform each other? And send each other interesting articles? And challenge each other?


But at a more complicated level, political ideology matters as well. Ideology is linked to your cultural values and your paradigm for life. And, um, to have a successful relationship you probably should have similar ones. I don't just vote from a feminist perspective. I live a feminist perspective. So, I don't do all the household chores. I don't expect my partner to pay all the bills. I'm not just against the Iraqi war, I'm against violence. That means I don't go to violent movies. I don't play violent video games (now that I actually play video games).


See? A lifestyle.


I guess the argument could be made that life is more interesting if you disagree. And I'm sure that Carville and Matalin have a very interesting life....but not the life I want. I don't want to constantly have to "argue" about the basic tenants of life I know to be true. I don't want to have the same arguments over and over and over...Hmmm...I guess the argument could also be made that I'm just too dogmatic to have a partner who disagrees with me. Maybe people don't have the same argument over and over and over again. But that probably means they aren't having discussions at all. And how fun is that?


Politico has more about this....

[EDIT] This AlterNet article speaks volumes about this subject. A totally lovely piece.

Who you love and how you love them is as much a statement about your social conscience -- perhaps even a far more accurate and moving statement -- as the letters you write to Congress or the votes you cast. It is harder to be good to someone else. It has the potential to make them be good to others. And others are the fulcrum of social change...It is the moment we critically and consciously choose how to shape our love that we move towards freedom. It is a critical response to our commercialized culture of romance, a rejection of that which feels outdated, a vision of a more inclusive, more authentic, more liberating relationship. In fact, the moment we choose to shape our love is the first, most critical step in shaping the whole God damn world.

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6 Comments:

Blogger Alicia said...

The one I love and I, have some opposed political ideas.
We discovered this early on and since that day we decided that it would be in our best interest to not talk about certain issues with each other.
It's ok to discuss them when we are with other people, but not when we're alone.

It seems silly but it has always worked for us.

It's not like he's unreasonable and i'm crazy.
If we thought that about each other, we wouldn't be together.
We're just quirky, at most.
At least that's what we tell our friends.

Maybe it is a good idea to date people with your same political inclinations, but love is way too complicated already without having to check passports, colors, blood types, sexes and political inclinations.

He likes what I like enough that our life together is enjoyable, fulfilling and exciting for the both of us.

Disagreements are not so bad. Sometimes, discussing things, we even learn.
I guess that's the reason some love debates.

I also believe every couple has "taboo" subjects.
For my parents, it is the record collection my dad gave to charity without my mama's permission.
They don't talk about it.

For some friends we had, it is the "Zorro" movie.
They don't talk about it.

I guess that sometimes keeping your mouth shut is a good policy, especially if you don't want your cute dishes flying around your kitchen.

Blogger kristen said...

You make a good point, Alicia....

...I guess for me, politics is such a HUGE part of my life, work, etc that I couldn't *not* talk about it. AND I tend to be unreasonable and obsessive so I have a hard time letting things go. If my partner disagreed with much of my political philosophy, I would make it my life's goal to "convert" him/her! Probably not that healthy!

But I do get what you're saying...Drew and I won't play tennis together. He's good, I'm not and I'm a sore loser...bad combo! And tennis is super important to him. But I find other ways to support his love...so we watch matches, I go to his team's matches, etc...

Blogger Alicia said...

Yup, they say it takes wisdom to learn to pick one's battles.
We must be VERY VERY wise women. ;)

Blogger kristen said...

obviously ;)

Anonymous Me said...

Wait... youre down on violence? Does this make you an invitational sympathizer? I should have known...:)

Blogger kristen said...

dearest ME:

yes...and i only speak in soft tones with caring words.

i think it may be something in my biological make-up that makes me do these things.

i. can't. stop.

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